Grieving in Itaewon
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. by Sae Jin Lee, 2022
Lord, have mercy
We mourn the 156 lives lost on October 29, 2022 in Itaewon, South Korea.
101 females
55 males
4 teenagers
96 in their twenties
32 in their thirties
26 foreigners
October 30
by Lynn Hur
Lynn Hur is a recent graduate of UCLA who is visiting her grandmother in Yongin, South Korea. Her passions lie in creating sustainable, intergenerational, equitable, and creative public spaces with BIPOC and immigrant communities.
I woke up that morning to a call from mom.
You weren’t in Itaewon last night, right? she asks.
I ask what she means by that.
So many people dead.
When I walk out to the living room the news is already on. 149 dead, and likely more. There are horrifying videos of people panicking and dying, and I hold my breath with them as I watch. That breath is sustained the entire day. Korea is quiet as the number rises.
A friend studying abroad in Seoul lost two of her friends last night. Others are frantically posting on social media, looking for their friends.
How many have passed while I was sleeping?
In the midst of the shock and grief, there is misplaced anger. Adults tutting; what are these kids doing? That many? Ah, what a shame, their lives are cut so short. Why did they go out like this?
But I can see that this anger is part of the grief. How do you process something that you can’t understand?
The shock, anger, sadness, are eclipsed by the desperate search for answers. As I listen to adults arguing on the radio about the political implications, or pointing at someone to blame, ultimately, I know what this feeling is. It feels like failure.
We have failed the younger generation in so many ways.
—
Itaewon has historically been a safe haven for marginalized and othered people in Korea. It has transformed into a popular district with a bustling nightlife- an escape for many young Koreans who want relief from the suffocating confines of “hell joseon”, a term used to describe Korea’s unrelenting competitiveness in education, career, and wealth disparity.
And even this was taken away, the youth more or less stuck inside and isolated for almost three years.
압사 (op-sa) means death by pressure, to be crushed, and I can’t help but wonder how many must die like this, in more ways than one.
We lament the senseless loss of life.
Ways to heal during times of grief
The healing process is not linear. Offer yourself and others compassion on the long journey. Here are a few things you can put in your healing toolbox:
-Move slowly throughout the day and breathe.
-Practice breath prayers with Scripture.
-Light a candle to remember a person or an event that remains close to you.
-Go outside. Walk around the neighborhood or go to your favorite outdoor spot.
-Reach out to a friend who is also grieving. Call, text, write a card, meet for tea.
-Retell the story of what happened- write, talk, or sing about it
-We heal together. Listen deeply. Offer grace to one another.